God With Beer

It was a dizzy night with full on beer in the belly. With the warm depart called ‘bye’, I got into car with trembling hands. With ignition on, I moved towards my home. A sudden jerk to a dog got me normal. The dog whined with wounded leg and ran away. I took a deep breath, had one more pint and reached home.

At the mid nite I was in deep sleep and a noise roared like a devil’s pet. Somebody came in and asked me to join him. With half head beer, I walked with him. After a while he started ‘Tell me Lex, how you managed to get so very drunk last nite’. I replied ‘well, I got into severely bad company after winning a beer at a raffle’. The guy replied ‘But you were with Ron & Jim and both do not drink’. ‘Exactly dude, dat’s what I mean’. The guy was graveled. After a long pause he told ‘We are on the way to hell and you will be scrutinized for all the mishaps you did including today’s. You are no more on this earth’.

In no time, I was out of the hang-over. I tried convincing him ‘Dude, it’s not fair. Couple of mishaps and I quit? How could you do this to me?’. The guy replied, ‘Everything is written, check with god when you meet him’.

It was an awesome setup with red dim lights and devil’s music. The guard offered me a welcome drink and I denied saying ‘No thanks’. I opened a kingfisher can and had a sip. The Godd was seated on his lazy-boy chair. As soon as I saw him, without letting him speak I started, ‘Godd When I drink, I get drunk. When I get drunk, I fall asleep. When I fell asleep, I commit no sin, then why hell? How could you do this to me? And why so hurry?’.

Godd was pissed off. With anger he stared at me and started investigation. ‘Today you hit the dog and broke its’ legs. Were you drunk while driving?’. I explained ‘Well, so I have, Godd, this weekend, you know, me and ma lads, we made a stop by the pub, I had only four or five pints ah... that's all. But then they offered "Happy Hour" during which they served delicious draughts. I had four more...pardon me, five. Then I met Ron & Jim and we played a raffle game, won a beer but both do not drink and its’ not my fault. Who else was left? It was me and I had it’. The Godd gave a deep sigh saying, 'open your mouth to take a breathalyser, I have to note reading'. Indignantly I replied, 'Why, don't you believe me?'.

Suddenly another spy dragged a dog to the courtyard along with sin report. That was Da Dog. I yelled ‘you came across my car’. Looking at its report, the Godd was furious ‘what a mess, even you were drunk!!’. The dog barked apologetically ‘Majesty, my owner dumped the left over party bags. I was hungry and could find chicken toast. Then I was thirsty and I could find a Budweiser. And you know, I had only two’.

I screamed ‘Because of you, I am here. If you were not drunk, you wouldn’t have come across my car, the godd wouldn’t have short listed me and I wouldn’t have been here’. I pleaded ‘Godd, please think about it. I need justice’.

The dog barked ‘After having one beer, I searched for statutory warning on beer can. I couldn’t find any. Between, my brain cells were desperate to have a little more. I can’t take the blame completely. Moreover, if you weren’t drunk, you would have stopped your car as soon as I came across. My leg is hurt and even I am dead...’

The argument continued. The godd, the goddess, the spies, the culprits, the spectators everybody focused on the scene. After a long argument, the godd interrupted. ‘Lex, do you agree that your fault got you here?’. Lex yelled ‘No’. Godd turned towards dog and threw the same question. ‘Dog, do you agree that your fault got you here?’. Dog barked politely ‘No ways’. 


Godd calmly said, ‘I was drunk when I shortlisted you both and informed the spies. Forget it anyways. Even I do not agree that my fault got you guys here’. He closed the session saying ‘You no fault... Me no fault... So no fault... Cheers...’

End of Journey

Bangalore & India, these names are driving me nuts. I never knew I am so weak. It was in 2008 when I was craving to get rid of India, may be in search of sophistication. I always felt life is incomplete in Bangalore. Struggle in traffic, struggle with relations, struggle for money, always STRUGGLE.

The desire to turn rich at young age made me love this new place. Money, acquaintances kept me occupied. Unfortunately, it was just a flash and not the light for life. Work and earnings gave peace of mind but loneliness overruled this in no time. Pissing on roadsides and crossing the roads without waiting for Green turned more valuable than sophistication. Is this an example for ‘grass on other side of greenery always appear green’ :P

Arguments with family, hang outs & misunderstandings with friends, fights with customer care executives etc were small things then. But never knew I am addicted to these.

Its neat & clean here. I stopped fighting because nothing is wrong here. I stopped panicking because nothing is there to worry here. I stopped missing somebody because nobody is mine and whomever I prefer to be mine are too far to miss! I can’t take this deadpan attitude anymore. Being unaffected is the worstest way of living!

A few people will know the value of their belongings before loosing them. But I realized the value of Bangalore only after I lost it. With 1000s of confusions behind, finally I am relocating to Bangalore and I never want to move out of Bangalore again :) I am not stating this with apprehension, but with repose. May be I won’t meet friends everyday, but still the surrounding is mine. May be I will struggle with lack of sophistication (let it be power cut or terrific traffic), but this is better than living dead.

Guyz, this is for the people who are cruising in the same ship as mine. Identify what you want and how you want. If you get ‘what you want’ in any other way than ‘how you want’, you will never enjoy what you got, no charm ah.

Not realizing the value of our land when we stay there is fair enough. Trying to find the charm outside India is also fair. Forgetting India if you can find the happiness outside is also not wrong. But missing your place desperately and still withholding your desires for extra bucks is not at all worth. For the people who are in this group, my small advice is ‘please stop fooling yourselves, its fake’.

For people who never wanted to stay outside India, you are the best, don’t even think about it. For people who are dying for opportunity but never got chance to explore, relax madi. May be India is not great, but rest of the countries also aren’t. All you will realize is, ‘I gained something but I lost something else’. And the biggest thing you loose is ‘yourness’.